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1、5ReasonsYourRelationshipisFallingApartIhopeyou’llexcusethepointedtitle,andIsincerelyhopeyourrelationshipisnotfallingapart,butifyouhaveeverfoundyourselfindirestraitsinarelationship(aswealldo),chancesarethatthetroublecanbetracedbacktooneorafewoftheseissues.Ifyourrelationshipisallrainbo
2、wsandsunshinedust,fantastic—thislistwilljustbesomegoodfoodforthought.You’renotlisteningI’mnottalkingaboutyoubeinggluedtotheTVwhileyourpartnerispouringhis/herheartout.Ifthat’sthecase,itshouldbeprettyobviousthereisaproblem.Manyofusbelievewearelisteningwhenwhatwe’reactuallydoingisanxiou
3、slyandimpatientlywaitingforourturntospeak.Whenwe“listen”fromthisperspective,wearenottrulylistening:weareresistingtheanger,despair,anxiety,fearetc.insideofus.Truelisteningrequiresawarenessofwhatisgoingoninside.Onlywhenweareconsciousofourinner-workingscanwetrulyhearanotherperson.Thenex
4、ttimeyoufindyourselflisteningtoyourpartner,whetherinanargumentorotherwise,seeifyoucannoticewhatyou’refeelingandthinkinginresponsewithouthavingtospeakimmediately.Seeifyoucanallowyoursignificantothertoreallybeheard.Then,acceptwhat’sgoingoninsideyou,nomatterwhatthethoughtoremotion.Fromt
5、hereyoucanspeakwithrationalandrelativecalm,whichbringsmetomynextpoint.You’renotspeakingupManyofuscarryaroundlittlehurtsandgrudgesallourlives.Often,webelievethatacknowledgingthepainisgenerallymoretroublethanit’sworth,andwhileitmayseemlikethatinthemoment,overtheyearsthoselittleindignit
6、iespileontopofeachotherandmorphintoamoundofresentment.Andthatisdangerous.Perhapsthere’ssomethingthatreallybothersyouaboutyourpartner.Whyaren'tyousayinganything?Areyouafraidthey’llgetupset?Sowhatiftheydo?Maybethey’llthrowatantrum.Maybethey’llapologize.Whoknows?Wouldyourathertrytodealw
7、ithitconstructivelynow,orburyitandwaitforittoexplodeoutofyouinafitofrage?Letitbealearningprocessregardlessoftheoutcome.Youwillthankyourselfdowntheroad.Aswithlistening,lookinward.Acceptwhatisthere.Ifthereissomethingthatneedstobesaid,thensayit.Understandthatthisdoesnotmeanverballyattac
8、ktheotherper
