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1、ellendegeneresthefunnythingis…Simon&SchusternewyorklondontorontosydneysingaporetableofcontentsAMessagefromtheAuthorTheBrunchBunchThat'sWhyPrisonWouldn'tBeSoBadMyMostEmbarrassingCaseScenarioGod,WhataDay!GiftExchange,or,TheArtofBelievableActingSilenceIsGoldenMakingYo
2、urLifeCount(andOtherFunThingstoDowithYourTime!)ThisIsHowWeLivePenny-pinchingforToday'sGal,or,HowtoLandaManWorkingItOutSmartishnessTheThingsThatAreBotheringMeThisWeekMyDadWasLikeaFathertoMeTheSeriousChapterTheControversialChapterTheChapterofApologiesDearDiaryAScient
3、ificTreatiseRegardingaMatterofGreatEntomologicalConcerntoAllofUsIt'sJustanExpressionClothesIHaveRegrettedWearingNamingMyBook:TheOdysseyThatWasThenorThenWasThatorAnyway,ItWasBeforeNowEllen'sPersonalHomeTourThingstoBeGratefulForMySelf-Conscious,or,CheckMeOut!TheLastC
4、hapterBonusChapterthefunnythingis…amessagefromtheauthorHello,andwelcometomynewbook.Pleasemakeyourselfathomewhileyoureadit:Takeoffyourshoes,loosenyourpants,makethosefunnyat-homefacesthatweallmake.Becomfortable.Ontheotherhand,ifyou'rereadingthisinamorepublicplace—apl
5、ane,atrain,ajurors'boxduringatrial—itmightserveyoubettertobealittlelesscomfortable.Oh,andifyou'rereadingthiswhileyou'redriving,PUTTHEBOOKAWAY!YOU'REDRIVING,FORPETE'SSAKE!Butwhereveryou'rereadingthisbook,pleaseremembertoturnoffyourcellphoneandthatthetakingofflashpho
6、tographsisstrictlyforbidden.Now,youmaywanttoknowwhyI'mwritingthisbook.Well,thereareanumberofverygoodreasons,mostofwhichIforgotthemomentIsatdowntowrite.IhaveavaguerecollectionoflosingabettoAlRoker,sothatmaybeoneofthereasons.Also,Idon'thaveanythingtodoforayearasIwait
7、tostartmynewtalkshow.PeoplehavesuggestedthatIsimplyenjoythetimeoff—I'llbewishingforthisnextyear.People(differentpeople—notthesameones)havealsosuggestedIreadbooks.Thefactis,I'dratherwriteabookthanreadabook.It'slikereading,onlyyougetpaidforit.Otherwise,ithasallthesam
8、eelements.Idon'tknowwhat'sonthenextpage.It'ssuspenseful,yetIcancontrolwhereitgoes.It'slikeinteractivereading.Besides,I'vealreadyreadbooks.Alotoft
