[Doris_Lessing]_Walking_in_the_Shade_Volume_Two_o(BookFi.org).pdf

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1、DORISLESSINGWALKINGINTHESHADEVOLUMETWOOFMYAUTOBIOGRAPHY1949-1962IusedtowalkintheshadeMybluesonparadeNowthisroverCrossedoverTothesunnysideofthestreet“ONTHESUNNYSIDEOFTHESTREET”Theindividual,andgroupingsofpeople,havetolearnthattheycannotreformsocietyin

2、reality,nordealwithothersasreasonablepeople,unlesstheindividualhaslearnedtolocateandallowforthevariouspatternsofcoerciveinstitutions,formalandalsoinformal,whichrulehim.Nomatterwhathisreasonsays,hewillalwaysrelapseintoobediencetothecoerciveagencywhile

3、itspatterniswithhim.IDRIESSHAH,CARAVANOFDREAMSContentsEpigraphiiiDenbighRoadWII1ChurchStreet,KensingtonW819WarwickRoadSW5149LanghamStreetWI277Acknowledgments405AbouttheAuthorOtherBooksbyDorisLessingCoverCopyrightAboutthePublisherDenbighRoadWIIHIGHONT

4、HESIDEOFTHETALLSHIP,IHELDUPMYLITTLEBOYandsaid,‘Look,there’sLondon.’Dockland:muddycreeksandchannels,greyishrottingwoodenwallsandbeams,cranes,tugs,bigandlittleships.Thechildwasprobablythinking,ButshipsandcranesandwaterwasCapeTown,andnowit’scalledLondon

5、.Asforme,realLondonwasstillahead,likethebeginningofmyreallife,whichwouldhavehappenedyearsbeforeifthewarhadn’tstoppedmecomingtoLondon.Acleanslate,anewpage—everythingstilltocome.Iwasfullofconfidenceandoptimism,thoughmyassetsweremin-imal:ratherlessthan£

6、150;themanuscriptofmyfirstnovel,TheGrassIsSinging,alreadyboughtbyaJohannesburgpublisherwhohadnotconcealedthefacthewouldtakealongtimepublishingit,becauseitwassosubversive;andafewshortstories.Ihadacoupleoftrunkfulsofbooks,forIwouldnotbepartedfromthem,s

7、omeclothes,somenegligiblejewellery.Ihadrefusedthepitifulsumsofmoneymymotherhadoffered,becauseshehadsolittleherself,andbesides,thewholesumandessenceofthisjourneywasthatitwasawayfromher,fromthefamily,andfromthatdreadfulprovincialcountrySouthernRhodesia

8、,where,iftherewasaseriousconversation,thenitwas—al-ways—aboutTheColourBarandtheinadequaciesoftheblacks.Iwasfree.Icouldatlastbewhollymyself.Ifeltmyselftobeself-created,self-sufficient.IsthisanadolescentIamdescribing?No,Iwasnearlythirty.Ihadtwomarriage