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1、2013高考英语书面表达03-01：考场作文评析（3）试题来源(江苏省石庄高级中学2013届高三学情调研检测)请根据下列两幅图写一篇短文。注意：1.描述图片内容。描述时要注意图中人物的表情；2.谈谈你对此漫画的感受和观点；3.写作时要适当地发挥，语言连贯；4.词数：150左右。这原是2012届江苏省南京市金陵中学高三第一学期期中考试的试题，但我们对原卷已经做了适当的修改，增加了表达的难度。(7)Frommypointofview,whatthemotherdidwaswrong.(8)Asweallknow,parentsarechildren’sfirstt
2、eachers.(9)Therefore,Ithinkparentsshouldnotonlycarefortheirchildren'shealth,buttheirminds.(10)Inaddition,theyshouldlettheirchildrenknowit'sapleasuretohelpotherswhoareintrouble.【习作评析】在评析考生考场习作之前，先让我们来看一看该书面表达的最基本的要点是什么。以上要点必须在书面表达中有所表述，缺一不可。【习作的亮点】全文共10句160字。要点表达齐全，较好地完成了题目所规定的任务。阅卷老
3、师判分为21分（满分为25分）。3.习作对主题（Education,whichhasalwaysbeenahottopic,playsaveryimportantroleintoday’sworld.Butnoteveryparentknowshowtoeducatetheirchildrencorrectly.）的概括非常精炼，恰到好处。4.Butnoteveryparentknowshowtoeducatetheirchildrencorrectly.这一句的使用说明作者对全部否定和部分否定句掌握得很好；5.习作在谈谈对漫画中母亲的做法的看法非常明确。在说
4、到建议时，有理有节。特别是最后一句“Inaddition,theyshouldlettheirchildrenknowit'sapleasuretohelpotherswhoareintrouble.”将主题进行了升华，给阅卷老师留下了深刻印象。【习作的缺点】2.某些句型的运用上有错误如：(5)However,inthesecondpicture,anoilbottlefelldownandthemothercriticizedangrilythelittleboydidn’tstraightenthebottleup.动词“criticize”后面不接tha
5、t从句。此句应改成“However,inthesecondpicture,anoilbottlefelldownandseeingthelittleboydidn’tstraightenitup,themothercriticizedhimangrily”3.某些句与句之间缺乏必要的连贯【修改后的习作】Education,whichhasalwaysbeenahottopic,playsaveryimportantroleintoday’sworld.Butnoteveryparentknowshowtoeducatetheirchildrencorrectl
6、y.Asisshowninthefirstpicture,whenalittlegirlfelldown,alittleboywantedtohelpher.Buthismotherpreventedhimandsaid,“Youcan’t,otherwisesomeoneelsewouldsaythatitwasyouthatknockedheroff.”However,inthesecondpicture,anoilbottlefelldownbutthelittleboydidn’tstraightenit.Sothemothercriticizedhi
7、mangrilywhenheyelled,‘IfIhaddonethat,youwouldsaythebottlewasbroughtdownbyme.’Hearinghisexplanation,themotherwasshocked.Frommypointofview,whatthemotherdidwaswrong.Asweallknow,parentsarechildren’sfirstteachers.Therefore,Ithinkparentsshouldnotonlycarefortheirchildren'shealth,buttheirmi
8、nds.Inaddition,they
