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1、Embracingotherness.WhenIfirstheardthistheme,Ithought,wellembracingothernessisembracingmyself.Andthejourneytothatplaceofunderstandingandacceptancehasbeenaninterestingoneforme,andit'sgivenmeaninsightintothewholenotionofself,whichIthinkisworthsharingwithyoutoday.Weeachhaveaself,butIdon'tthinktha
2、twe'rebornwithone.Youknowhownewbornbabiesbelievethey'repartofeverything;they'renotseparate.Wellthatfundamentalsenseofonenessislostonusveryquickly.It'slikethatinitialstageisover--oneness:infancy,unformed,primitive.It'snolongervalidorreal.Whatisrealisseparateness.Andatsomepointinearlybabyhood,t
3、heideaofselfstartstoform.Ourlittleportionofonenessisgivenaname,istoldallkindsofthingsaboutitself.Andthesedetails,opinionsandideasbecomefacts,whichgotowardsbuildingourselves,ouridentity.Andthatselfbecomesthevehiclefornavigatingoursocialworld.Buttheselfisaprojectionbasedonotherpeople'sprojectio
4、ns.Isitwhowereallyare?Orwhowereallywanttobe,orshouldbe?拥抱他人。当我第一次听到这个主题时，我觉得拥抱他人，就是拥抱我自己。对于我来说，通往理解和接纳的路是十分有意思的，并且让我对“自我”这一概念有了深刻的理解。我想这值得在今天和你们分享。我们都有一个自我，但我并不认为这是与生俱来的。你看那些刚出生的小婴儿，他们认为自己属于任何事物，他们并不是脱离的。这种最基本的同一性会很快从我们身上消失，如同最初始的状态已经结束。同一性：婴儿期、未成形的、原始的，将不复存在，取而代之的是分离。在婴儿期的某一点，关于自我的意识开始萌芽。我们同
5、一性的一小部分被赋予了一个名字，被告知关于它自己的任何事情。这些细节、观点和想法变成事实，这些都帮我们形成自我，以及自己的身份。然后这个自我就成为一个工具，用来探索周围的这个世界。但是这个自我实际上是一个以其他人的投影为基础的投影。这就是真正的我们吗？是我们真正想成为，或者应该成为的人吗？IgrewuponthecoastofEnglandinthe70s.MydadiswhitefromCornwall,andmymomisblackfromZimbabwe.Eventheideaofusasafamilywaschallengingtomostpeople.Butnature
6、haditswickedway,andbrownbabieswereborn.Butfromabouttheageoffive,IwasawarethatIdidn'tfit.Iwastheblackatheistkidintheall-whitecatholicschoolrunbynuns.Iwasananomaly.Andmyselfwasrootingaroundfordefinitionandtryingtoplugin.Becausetheselflikestofit,toseeitselfreplicated,tobelong.Thatconfirmsitsexis
7、tenceanditsimportance.Anditisimportant.Ithasanextremelyimportantfunction.Withoutit,weliterallycan'tinterfacewithothers.Wecan'thatchplansandclimbthatstairwayofpopularity,ofsuccess.Butmyskincolorwasn'tright.Myhairwasn'tright.Myhistorywasn'trigh
