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1、双语学习之--修补爱情时必须注意的五个要点FiveStepstoMendPerceivedWrongdoings修补爱情时必须注意的五个要点AccordingtoArnoldSchwarzenegger'sautobiography,TotalRecall,afterhecommittedadulterywithhishousekeeper,hedeniedtohiswifeMariaShriverthatthechildwashis--becausehe"didn'tknow"hewasthefather.Hav
2、ingbothliedandcheated,there'slittleroomfordoubtthatArnoldhadwrongedhiswife.施瓦辛格在自传中回忆道“当他和和自己的女管家发生关系并另其怀孕以后，他在自己的妻子面前抵赖自己不是孩子他爸——因为他“什么都不知道”。阿诺的出轨并撒谎毫无疑问深深地伤害了妻子。When,yearslater,Mariaconfrontedhiminthetherapist'sofficewithconcernsthatthegoverness'schildlooked
3、anawfullotlikehim,histacticwastofinallyrevealthetruth.Thenheofferedanapology:"ItoldherhowsorryIfeltaboutit,howwrongitwas,andthatitwasmyfault.Ijustunloadedeverything."几年以后，妻子和阿诺在婚姻治疗师的办公室里再次面对往事，妻子提出女管家的孩子与阿诺极像时，阿诺终于承认自己做过的荒唐事，然后向妻子道歉：“我告诉她我有多后悔做下这样的事，我承认自己的错误，
4、之后我感觉到自己终于轻松了。”Arnold'scase,whileheadlinegrabbing,isnotunique.Whencouplesstrugglewiththecomplicationsofinfidelity,there'salotofworktobedone;partofthatworkinvolvesowninguptoanaffairandofferinganapology.Andanapologyisn'teasy;itisacomplexformofcommunication.阿诺的这个
5、丑闻绝对是新闻头条，然而这却是很多人生活里面容易犯的错。当婚姻被婚外情所困扰时，我们需要做很多来让婚姻重回正轨。承认出轨和道歉是必须要做的两件事。这个时候的道歉就不是一件简单的事了，这个道歉将成为你和爱人间复杂的沟通。Inorderforanapologytobeaneffectivemeansofcommunication,itmustincludefivesteps.Thesestepsdon'tapplyjusttoaffairsorinfidelity.Theyarenecessarytomendanyki
6、ndofperceivedwrongdoing.想让这个道歉管用，下面这五步一定要掌握，当让这五步不仅仅适合那些已经有婚外情的人，也适合那些在犯了错却要想修补爱情的人。Step1:Understandwhatyouareapologizingfor.第一步：知道你要为什么而道歉Agenuineapologysoundseasy.Youprobablyknowbynowthatit'snot.Ifyou'vehadanaffair,I'llbetthatonmanyoccasionsyou'vealreadytrie
7、dtosay"I'msorry."Or,havinghadyourfirstapologyrejected,youmayhavetried,"I'vealreadysaidI'msorry.Whatelsewouldyoulikemetosay?"道歉是很简单的事，但当你出轨了，想要道歉却变得很艰难。我敢肯定你在很多情况下已经为你的行为道过歉了;或是你道歉没被接受。“我已经告诉她/他我很对不起了，我还能做点什么?”Ifyouhavealreadyapologized,yourmatemayhavefailedtoa
8、cceptitbecauseitdoesnotfeelgenuine.Evenif,inyourheartofhearts,youswearyoumeanit,itmaynotbeperceivedthatway.Foryourmessageofremorsetogetacross,you'vegottodoafairamountofintrospectio
