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1、Whenhelpingisn'thelping:Makingthemostofother'sgoodintentionsKellyrunsatightshipathome.She’sorganized(okaymaybesomefolkswouldsayalittlebitobsessive)butwhenhermotherofferedtocomedownandhelpafterherbabywasborn,Kellyjumpedatheroffer.Nowit’sacoupleofdayspost-momandKellyisabouttoscream.Hermomwashedanddr
2、iedhernewexpensiveblousethatismeanttobeonlyhandwashedandnevereverputinadryer–nowitwouldbarelyfita4yearold.Andthensheapparentlyoverwateredtheplantsandleftahugewaterstainononeofthedressers.Andshestillhasn’tbeenabletofindtheblendereventhoughshetorethekitchenapartlookingforitandhermomcan’trememberseei
3、ngit.DidIsayshewasaboutthescream?Thisisoneofthosesituationswheregoodintentionscrosswithunspokenexpectations.Kellyknowsinherrationalmindthathermomwasjusttryingtohelp.Hermomdidn’tknowthenuancesofthehousehold,shewasinadifferentenvironment,thereweredifferentrules(liketheblouse)andstandardsthathermomwa
4、scluelessabout.Kellydoesn’twanttocalluphermomandscoldher,butsheisreluctanttolethermoveoffthecouchthenexttimeshevisits.Obviouslythereisacommunicationproblemhere(orlackof)butalsosomethingelse.PartofKelly’supsetisaboutherandhercopingstyle.Sheleansoncontroltomanageheranxiety–sheknowswherethingsgo,foll
5、owsherownroutines,staysobsessed..uh,organized.Whenthingsaregoingtoplan,everythingisfine.Evenwithenoughnoticeofchangestocomeshecanadjust.Butwhentheplan(thatusuallystaysonlyinsideherhead)getsthrownoffunexpectedly,heranxietygoesupanditusuallycomesoutasirritationandcontrol.Andthere’sanotherproblemaswe
6、ll–atensioncreatedwithinKellybythenatureofhavingsomeone,evenifitishermom,helpinginherhouse.PartofthetensioncomesfromKelly,ononehand,wantingandneedinghelp,butontheother,wantingtogiveanappearancethatthingsarestillprettymuchincontrol,thatherhousestillpresentswell,thatshereallynormallydoesn’tneedhelpe
7、venthoughsheisacknowledgingthatshedoes.TheothersourceoftensionisthateventhoughKellyknowshermomisopenlyandvoluntarilycomingtodowhatneedstogetdone,Kellystillwouldlikehermomtoalsobeabletofeellikeaguestinherhome.Want
