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ID:13528188
大小:2.38 MB
页数:4页
时间:2018-07-23
《雅思写作:常见错误举例分析》由会员上传分享,免费在线阅读,更多相关内容在行业资料-天天文库。
1、智课网IELTS备考资料雅思写作:常见错误举例分析我们先来看一道题目:Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement:Forfuturesuccess,relatingwelltoothersismoreimportantthanstudyinghardatschool.某学员的观点为Studyinghardismoreimportantforfuturesuccess,并完成了以下的段落:[TopicSentence]Firstofall,studyinghardatschoolcanlayagood
2、foundation.[Explanation]Medicineandlawarebothneedlongtimetostudy’ssubject.Peopleshouldlearnatleastthreeyearstohaveabasicrecognition.[Example]Forexample,onedayamangoestothehospital.AndthedoctorwhoiscuringthemansaysthatImaynotbringyouahealthybodybecauseIcangetthisjobresultfromm
3、yfriend.ActuallyIamnotgoodatit.SoIhaveaquestionisifyoumeetadoctorjustlikethis,whatwouldyoudo?Andwhatwouldyouthinkaboutit?Thistypeofpeoplecannotbeallowedtoappearinthesociety.Itisanoppositeinstance.虽然此段的结构很清晰,但是在内容层面,还是有很多常见的雅思写作错误发生:1.解释与主题句逻辑联系不紧密。解释的精髓在于将主题句的抽象概念进行第一层次的具体化,并
4、起到把主题与例子联系起来的桥梁作用。但是,以上文段当中问题比较明显。首先,主题句中的要点在于hard,而解释的部分却表达了longtime.时间长跟努不努力没有关系。Problematic:Medicineandlawarebothneedlongtimetostudy’ssubject.Peopleshouldlearnatleastthreeyearstohaveabasicrecognition.Revised:Thesuccessofmanyelitesindifferentfields[埋下伏笔,为例子做铺垫]istheresultof
5、unrelentingefforts[同义改写,呼应主题句]intheirschooldays.2.例证欠缺说服力差。例子需要围绕主题句和解释部分的逻辑展开,比如这道题,最核心的逻辑链条便是由studyinghard带来的success。作者想用一个反例来说明如果不好好学习,能力不够是没法在社会上生存的。但是在表达方式上过于口语化,而且语言质量不高。Problematic:Forexample,onedayamangoestothehospital.AndthedoctorwhoiscuringthemansaysthatImaynotbring
6、youahealthybodybecauseIcangetthisjobresultfrommyfriend.ActuallyIamnotgoodatit.SoIhaveaquestionisifyoumeetadoctorjustlikethis,whatwouldyoudo?Andwhatwouldyouthinkaboutit?Thistypeofpeoplecannotbeallowedtoappearinthesociety.Itisanoppositeinstance.Revised:Doctorsserveasanexcellent
7、example.[正例]Inordertobecomesuccessfuldoctors,medicalstudentsmustreadthousandsofprofessionalbooksandpapersatschool,takenumeroustestsandspendlonghoursinthelaboratory.Noonecandenythathardworkatschoolgreatlycontributestotheirreputationandexpertise.Patientswillbemorecomfortablerec
8、eivingmedicaltreatmentfromthesedoctors.[反例]Conversely,nooneiswilling
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