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1、http://www.fd580.cn/成人分离焦虑症:说声再见不容易Lastweek,whenhiswifelefthomeforatwo-weekcruisewithherbestfriend,RobertSollarsstockeduponhamburgermeatandpeanutbutter,thensettledintoaweekendoffootballoncableTV.Andhecried.上个月,罗伯特•索拉斯(RobertSollars)的妻子和她最好的朋友出去参加为期两周的游艇游。索拉斯于是买了一堆
2、汉堡肉和花生酱,整个周末都泡在电视前面看橄榄球赛。而且他还哭了。Mr.Sollars,51yearsold,whoownsaworkplace-securityconsultingfirminMesa,Ariz.,hatesbeingawayfromhiswifeevenwhensheisjustgoingtowork,asanintensive-carenurseonthenightshiftatalocalhospital.Whensheisawayforalongerstretch,Mr.Sollarsfeelsna
3、useatedandfindsithardtoconcentrate.51岁的索拉斯在亚利桑那州梅萨(Mesa)拥有一家工作场所安全咨询公司,他妻子是当地一家医院的重症监护护士。索拉斯痛恨离开妻子──即使她只是去医院上夜班。当她长时间离开时,索拉斯会感觉恶心,而且很难集中注意力。Ashiswifepackedforvacation,hehoveredanxiously.Sheeventuallysnapped,andtheyarguedforhours,hesays.Thatnight,aftershe'dgonetoth
4、eairport,Mr.Sollarscouldn'tsleep.Amonghisthoughts:Shewillhaveacaraccident.Shewillgetsickorhurt.Shewillfindsomeoneelse.'Ifirmlybelievethatmyworryisbasedinfantasyland,'Mr.Sollarssays.'ButIamstilldeathlyafraidoflosingthewomanIlove.'当他妻子打包准备去度假时,他坐立不安。他说,她最终生气了,两人吵了几小
5、时。那晚,当她去机场后,索拉斯无法入睡。他心里想着:她会遇到车祸。她会生病或受伤。她会有外遇。索拉斯说,“我坚信,我的担心完全是无中生有。但我仍然非常担心失去我爱的女人。”Tomostpeople,'separationanxiety'iswhatyoungchildrenfeelwhilecryingonthefirstdayofpreschool.Butadultsalsocanexperienceitwhentheyareseparatedfromthepeoplewhomattermosttothem.Theyma
6、ybeunabletocontaintheirworryandenduppushingawaytheverypersontheyneedsodesperately.对多数人来说,“分离焦虑”是小孩子在第一天上幼儿园哭哭啼啼时的感受。但成年人与他们最在乎的人分离时,也可能体会到这种焦虑。他们可能无法抑制自己的担忧,最终导致他们如此亟需的那个人远离他们。You'dthinkpiningforsomeonewouldberareatatimewheneveryoneishyperconnected.Butallthiseffor
7、tlessconnectivityhasspoiledus.Weexpecttobeabletoreacheveryoneimmediately,andwhenwecan't,we'relosingtheabilitytocope.阿尔瓦雷斯(右)与她的两个女儿在得克萨斯州奥斯汀的寄宿学校。你会认为,在如今这个每个人都彼此“超连通”的时代,应该没什么人会如此黏着某个人了。但这种毫不费力的连通性已经把我们惯坏了。我们希望能立即联系上每个人,当我们不能做到这一点时,就会不知所措。ResearchersatHaverfordCo
8、llege,inPennsylvania,foundpeoplewhomissedtheirpartnerswhenapartfromthemweremorecommittedtotherelationship,workedhardertotakecareofitandavoideddamagingbe