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《嘉莉妹妹(sister carrie) 第三十九章》由会员上传分享，免费在线阅读，更多相关内容在教育资源-天天文库。
嘉莉妹妹(SisterCarrie)第三十九章WhatHurstwoodgotastheresultofthedeterminationwasmoreself-assurancethateachparticulardaywasnottheday.Atthesametime,Carriepassedthroughthirtydaysofmentaldistress.Herneedofclothes--tosaynothingofherdesireforornaments--grewrapidlyasthefactdevelopedthatforallherworkshewasnottohavethem.ThesympathyshefeltforHurstwood,atthetimeheaskedhertotidehimover,vanishedwiththesenewerurgingsofdecency.Hewasnotalwaysrenewinghisrequest,butthisloveofgoodappearancewas.Itinsisted,andCarriewishedtosatisfyit,wishedmoreandmorethatHurstwoodwasnotintheway.Hurstwoodreasoned,whenhenearedthelasttendollars,thathehadbetterkeepalittlepocketchangeandnotbecomewhollydependentforcar-fare,shaves,andthelike;sowhenthissumwasstillinhishandheannouncedhimselfaspenniless.I’mclearout,hesaidtoCarrieoneafternoon.Ipaidforsomecoalthismorning,andthattookallbuttenorfifteencents.I’vegotsomemoneythereinmypurse.Hurstwoodwenttogetit,startingforacanoftomatoes.Carriescarcelynoticedthatthiswasthebeginningoftheneworder.Hetookoutfifteen centsandboughtthecanwithit.Thereafteritwasdribsanddrabsofthissort,untilonemorningCarriesuddenlyrememberedthatshewouldnotbebackuntilclosetodinnertime.We’realloutofflour,shesaid;you’dbettergetsomethisafternoon.Wehaven’tanymeat,either.Howwoulditdoifwehadliverandbacon?Suitsme,saidHurstwood.Bettergetahalforthree-quartersofapoundofthat.Half’llbeenough,volunteeredHurstwood.Sheopenedherpurseandlaiddownahalfdollar.Hepretendednottonoticeit.Hurstwoodboughttheflour--whichallgrocerssoldin31/2poundpackages--forthirteencentsandpaidfifteencentsforahalf-poundofliverandbacon.Heleftthepackages,togetherwiththebalanceofthirty-twocents,uponthekitchentable,whereCarriefoundit.Itdidnotescapeherthatthechangewasaccurate.Therewassomethingsadinrealisingthat,afterall,allthathewantedofherwassomethingtoeat.Shefeltasifhardthoughtswereunjust.Maybehewouldgetsomethingyet.Hehadnovices.Thatveryevening,however,ongoingintothetheatre,oneofthechorusgirlspassedherallnewlyarrayedinaprettymottledtweedsuit,whichtookCarrie’seye.Theyoungwomanworeafinebunchofvioletsandseemedinhighspirits.ShesmiledatCarriegood-naturedlyasshe passed,showingpretty,eventeeth,andCarriesmiledback.Shecanaffordtodresswell,thoughtCarrie,andsocouldI,ifIcouldonlykeepmymoney.Ihaven’tadecenttieofanykindtowear.Sheputoutherfootandlookedathershoereflectively.I’llgetapairofshoesSaturday,anyhow;Idon’tcarewhathappens.OneofthesweetestandmostsympatheticlittlechorusgirlsinthecompanymadefriendswithherbecauseinCarrieshefoundnothingtofrightenheraway.ShewasagaylittleManon,unwittingofsociety’sfierceconceptionofmorality,but,nevertheless,goodtoherneighbourandcharitable.Littlelicensewasallowedthechorusinthematterofconversation,but,nevertheless,somewasindulgedin.It’swarmto-night,isn’tit?saidthisgirl,arrayedinpinkfleshingsandanimitationgoldenhelmet.Shealsocarriedashiningshield.Yes;itis,saidCarrie,pleasedthatsomeoneshouldtalktoher.I’malmostroasting,saidthegirl.Carrielookedintoherprettyface,withitslargeblueeyes,andsawlittlebeadsofmoisture.There’smoremarchinginthisoperathaneverIdidbefore,addedthegirl.Haveyoubeeninothers?askedCarrie,surprisedatherexperience.Lotsofthem,saidthegirl;haven’tyou?Thisismyfirstexperience. Oh,isit?IthoughtIsawyouthetimetheyran‘TheQueen’sMate’here.No,saidCarrie,shakingherhead;notme.Thisconversationwasinterruptedbytheblareoftheorchestraandthesputteringofthecalciumlightsinthewingsasthelinewascalledtoformforanewentrance.Nofurtheropportunityforconversationoccurred,butthenextevening,whentheyweregettingreadyforthestage,thisgirlappearedanewatherside.Theysaythisshowisgoingontheroadnextmonth.Isit?saidCarrie.Yes;doyouthinkyou’llgo?Idon’tknow;Iguessso,ifthey’lltakeme.Oh,they’lltakeyou.Iwouldn’tgo.Theywon’tgiveyouanymore,anditwillcostyoueverythingyoumaketolive.IneverleaveNewYork.Therearetoomanyshowsgoingonhere.Canyoualwaysgetinanothershow?Ialwayshave.There’sonegoingonupattheBroadwaythismonth.I’mgoingtotryandgetinthatifthisonereallygoes.Carrieheardthiswitharousedintelligence.Evidentlyitwasn’tsoverydifficulttogeton.Maybeshealsocouldgetaplaceifthisshowwentaway.Dotheyallpayaboutthesame?sheasked. Yes.Sometimesyougetalittlemore.Thisshowdoesn’tpayverymuch.Igettwelve,saidCarrie.Doyou?saidthegirl.Theypaymefifteen,andyoudomoreworkthanIdo.Iwouldn’tstanditifIwereyou.They’rejustgivingyoulessbecausetheythinkyoudon’tknow.Yououghttobemakingfifteen.Well,I’mnot,saidCarrie.Well,you’llgetmoreatthenextplaceifyouwantit,wentonthegirl,whoadmiredCarrieverymuch.Youdofine,andthemanagerknowsit.Tosaythetruth,Carriedidunconsciouslymoveaboutwithanairpleasingandsomewhatdistinctive.Itwasduewhollytohernaturalmannerandtotallackofself-consciousness.DoyousupposeIcouldgetmoreupattheBroadway?Ofcourseyoucan,answeredthegirl.YoucomewithmewhenIgo.I’lldothetalking.Carrieheardthis,flushingwiththankfulness.Shelikedthislittlegaslightsoldier.Sheseemedsoexperiencedandself-reliantinhertinselhelmetandmilitaryaccoutrements.MyfuturemustbeassuredifIcanalwaysgetworkthisway,thoughtCarrie.Still,inthemorning,whenherhouseholddutieswouldinfringeuponherandHurstwoodsatthere,aperfectloadtocontemplate,herfate seemeddismalandunrelieved.ItdidnottakesoverymuchtofeedthemunderHurstwood’sclose-measuredbuying,andtherewouldpossiblybeenoughforrent,butitleftnothingelse.Carrieboughttheshoesandsomeotherthings,whichcomplicatedtherentproblemveryseriously.Suddenly,aweekfromthefatalday,Carrierealisedthattheyweregoingtorunshort.Idon’tbelieve,sheexclaimed,lookingintoherpurseatbreakfast,thatI’llhaveenoughtopaytherent.Howmuchhaveyou?inquiredHurstwood.Well,I’vegottwenty-twodollars,butthere’severythingtobepaidforthisweekyet,andifIuseallIgetSaturdaytopaythis,therewon’tbeanyleftfornextweek.Doyouthinkyourhotelmanwillopenhishotelthismonth?Ithinkso,returnedHurstwood.Hesaidhewould.Afterawhile,Hurstwoodsaid:Don’tworryaboutit.Maybethegrocerwillwait.Hecandothat.We’vetradedtherelongenoughtomakehimtrustusforaweekortwo.Doyouthinkhewill?sheasked.Ithinkso.Onthisaccount,Hurstwood,thisveryday,lookedgrocerOesloggeclearlyintheeyeasheorderedapoundofcoffee,andsaid:Doyoumindcarryingmyaccountuntiltheendofeveryweek? No,no,Mr.Wheeler,saidMr.Oeslogge.Datissallright.Hurstwood,stilltactfulindistress,addednothingtothis.Itseemedaneasything.Helookedoutofthedoor,andthengathereduphiscoffeewhenreadyandcameaway.Thegameofadesperatemanhadbegun.Rentwaspaid,andnowcamethegrocer.HurstwoodmanagedbypavingoutofhisowntenandcollectingfromCarrieattheendoftheweek.Thenhedelayedadaynexttimesettlingwiththegrocer,andsosoonhadhistenback,withOesloggegettinghispayonthisThursdayorFridayforlastSaturday’sbill.ThisentanglementmadeCarrieanxiousforachangeofsomesort.Hurstwooddidnotseemtorealisethatshehadarighttoanything.Heschemedtomakewhatsheearnedcoverallexpenses,butseemednottotroubleoveraddinganythinghimself.Hetalksaboutworrying,thoughtCarrie.Ifheworriedenoughhecouldn’tsitthereandwaitforme.He’dgetsomethingtodo.Nomancouldgosevenmonthswithoutfindingsomethingifhetried.ThesightofhimalwaysaroundinhisuntidyclothesandgloomyappearancedroveCarrietoseekreliefinotherplaces.Twiceaweektherewerematinees,andthenHurstwoodateacoldsnack,whichhepreparedhimself.Twootherdaystherewererehearsalsbeginningatteninthemorningandlastingusuallyuntilone.Now,tothisCarrieaddedafewvisitstooneortwochorusgirls,includingtheblue-eyedsoldierofthe goldenhelmet.Shediditbecauseitwaspleasantandarelieffromdulnessofthehomeoverwhichherhusbandbrooded.Theblue-eyedsoldier’snamewasOsborne--LolaOsborne.HerroomwasinNineteenthStreetnearFourthAvenue,ablocknowgivenupwhollytoofficebuildings.Hereshehadacomfortablebackroom,lookingoveracollectionofbackyardsinwhichgrewanumberofshadetreespleasanttosee.Isn’tyourhomeinNewYork?sheaskedofLolaoneday.Yes;butIcan’tgetalongwithmypeople.Theyalwayswantmetodowhattheywant.Doyoulivehere?Yes,saidCarrie.Withyourfamily?Carriewasashamedtosaythatshewasmarried.Shehadtalkedsomuchaboutgettingmoresalaryandconfessedtosomuchanxietyaboutherfuture,thatnow,whenthedirectquestionoffactwaswaiting,shecouldnottellthisgirl.Withsomerelatives,sheanswered.MissOsbornetookitforgrantedthat,likeherself,Carrie’stimewasherown.Sheinvariablyaskedhertostay,proposinglittleoutingsandotherthingsofthatsortuntilCarriebeganneglectingherdinnerhours.Hurstwoodnoticedit,butfeltinnopositiontoquarrelwithher.Severaltimesshecamesolateasscarcelytohaveanhourinwhichtopatchupa mealandstartforthetheatre.Doyourehearseintheafternoons?Hurstwoodonceasked,concealingalmostcompletelythecynicalprotestandregretwhichpromptedit.No;Iwaslookingaroundforanotherplace,saidCarrie.Asamatteroffactshewas,butonlyinsuchawayasfurnishedtheleaststrawofanexcuse.MissOsborneandshehadgonetotheofficeofthemanagerwhowastoproducethenewoperaattheBroadwayandreturnedstraighttotheformer’sroom,wheretheyhadbeensincethreeo’clock.Carriefeltthisquestiontobeaninfringementonherliberty.Shedidnottakeintoaccounthowmuchlibertyshewassecuring.Onlythelaststep,thenewestfreedom,mustnotbequestioned.Hurstwoodsawitallclearlyenough.Hewasshrewdafterhiskind,andyettherewasenoughdecencyinthemantostophimfrommakinganeffectualprotest.InhisalmostinexplicableapathyhewascontenttodroopsupinelywhileCarriedriftedoutofhislife,justashewaswillingsupinelytoseeopportunitypassbeyondhiscontrol.Hecouldnothelpclingingandprotestinginamild,irritating,andineffectualway,however--awaythatsimplywidenedthebreachbyslowdegrees.Afurtherenlargementofthischasmbetweenthemcamewhenthemanager,lookingbetweenthewingsuponthebrightlylightedstagewherethechoruswasgoingthroughsomeofitsglitteringevolutions,said tothemasteroftheballet:Whoisthatfourthgirlthereontheright--theonecomingroundattheendnow?Oh,saidtheballet-master,that’sMissMadenda.She’sgoodlooking.Whydon’tyouletherheadthatline?Iwill,saidtheman.Justdothat.She’lllookbettertherethanthewomanyou’vegot.Allright.Iwilldothat,saidthemaster.ThenexteveningCarriewascalledout,muchasifforanerror.Youleadyourcompanyto-night,saidthemaster.Yes,sir,saidCarrie.Putsnapintoit,headded.Wemusthavesnap.Yes,sir,repliedCarrie.Astonishedatthischange,shethoughtthattheheretoforeleadermustbeill;butwhenshesawherintheline,withadistinctexpressionofsomethingunfavourableinhereye,shebegantothinkthatperhapsitwasmerit.Shehadachicwayoftossingherheadtooneside,andholdingherarmsasifforaction--notlistlessly.Infrontofthelinethisshowedupevenmoreeffectually.Thatgirlknowshowtocarryherself,saidthemanager,anotherevening.Hebegantothinkthatheshouldliketotalkwithher.Ifhe hadn’tmadeitaruletohavenothingtodowiththemembersofthechorus,hewouldhaveapproachedhermostunbendingly.Putthatgirlattheheadofthewhitecolumn,hesuggestedtothemaninchargeoftheballet.Thiswhitecolumnconsistedofsometwentygirls,allinsnow-whiteflanneltrimmedwithsilverandblue.Itsleaderwasmoststunninglyarrayedinthesamecolours,elaborated,however,withepauletsandabeltofsilver,withashortsworddanglingatoneside.Carriewasfittedforthiscostume,andafewdayslaterappeared,proudofhernewlaurels.Shewasespeciallygratifiedtofindthathersalarywasnoweighteeninsteadoftwelve.Hurstwoodheardnothingaboutthis.I’llnotgivehimtherestofmymoney,saidCarrie.Idoenough.Iamgoingtogetmesomethingtowear.Asamatteroffact,duringthissecondmonthshehadbeenbuyingforherselfasrecklesslyasshedared,regardlessoftheconsequences.Therewereimpendingmorecomplicationsrentdayandmoreextensionofthecreditsystemintheneighbourhood.Now,however,sheproposedtodobetterbyherself.Herfirstmovewastobuyashirtwaist,andinstudyingtheseshefoundhowlittlehermoneywouldbuy--howmuch,ifshecouldonlyuseall.Sheforgotthatifshewerealoneshewouldhavetopayforaroomand board,andimaginedthateverycentofhereighteencouldbespentforclothesandthingsthatsheliked.Atlastshepickeduponsomething,whichnotonlyusedupallhersurplusabovetwelve,butinvadedthatsum.Sheknewshewasgoingtoofar,butherfeminineloveoffineryprevailed.ThenextdayHurstwoodsaid:Weowethegrocerfivedollarsandfortycentsthisweek.Dowe?saidCarrie,frowningalittle.Shelookedinherpursetoleaveit.I’veonlygoteightdollarsandtwentycentsaltogether.Weowethemilkmansixtycents,addedHurstwood.Yes,andthere’sthecoalman,saidCarrie.Hurstwoodsaidnothing.Hehadseenthenewthingsshewasbuying;thewayshewasneglectinghouseholdduties;thereadinesswithwhichshewasslippingoutafternoonsandstaying.Hefeltthatsomethingwasgoingtohappen.Allatonceshespoke:Idon’tknow,shesaid;Ican’tdoitall.Idon’tearnenough.Thiswasadirectchallenge.Hurstwoodhadtotakeitup.Hetriedtobecalm.Idon’twantyoutodoitall,hesaid.IonlywantalittlehelpuntilIcangetsomethingtodo.Oh,yes,answeredCarrie.That’salwaystheway.IttakesmorethanI canearntopayforthings.Idon’tseewhatI’mgoingtodo.Well,I’vetriedtogetsomething,heexclaimed.Whatdoyouwantmetodo?Youcouldn’thavetriedsoveryhard,saidCarrie.Igotsomething.Well,Idid,hesaid,angeredalmosttoharshwords.Youneedn’tthrowupyoursuccesstome.AllIaskedwasalittlehelpuntilIcouldgetsomething.I’mnotdownyet.I’llcomeupallright.Hetriedtospeaksteadily,buthisvoicetrembledalittle.Carrie’sangermeltedontheinstant.Shefeltashamed.Well,shesaid,here’sthemoney,andemptieditoutonthetable.Ihaven’tgotquiteenoughtopayitall.IftheycanwaituntilSaturday,though,I’llhavesomemore.Youkeepit,saidHurstwood,sadly.Ionlywantenoughtopaythegrocer.Sheputitback,andproceededtogetdinnerearlyandingoodtime.Herlittlebravadomadeherfeelasifsheoughttomakeamends.Inalittlewhiletheiroldthoughtsreturnedtoboth.She’smakingmorethanshesays,thoughtHurstwood.Shesaysshe’smakingtwelve,butthatwouldn’tbuyallthosethings.Idon’tcare.Letherkeephermoney.I’llgetsomethingagainoneofthesedays.Thenshecangotothedeuce.Heonlysaidthisinhisanger,butitprefiguredapossiblecourseof actionandattitudewellenough.Idon’tcare,thoughtCarrie.Heoughttobetoldtogetoutanddosomething.Itisn’trightthatIshouldsupporthim.InthesedaysCarriewasintroducedtoseveralyouths,friendsofMissOsborne,whowereofthekindmostaptlydescribedasgayandfestive.TheycalledoncetogetMissOsborneforanafternoondrive.Carriewaswithheratthetime.Comeandgoalong,saidLola.No,Ican’t,saidCarrie.Oh,yes,comeandgo.Whathaveyougottodo?Ihavetobehomebyfive,saidCarrie.Whatfor?Oh,dinner.They’lltakeustodinner,saidLola.Oh,no,saidCarrie.Iwon’tgo.Ican’t.Oh,docome.They’reawfulniceboys.We’llgetyoubackintime.We’reonlygoingforadriveinCentralPark.Carriethoughtawhile,andatlastyielded.Now,Imustbebackbyhalf-pastfour,shesaid.TheinformationwentinoneearofLolaandouttheother.AfterDrouetandHurstwood,therewastheleasttouchofcynicisminherattitudetowardyoungmen--especiallyofthegayandfrivoloussort. Shefeltalittleolderthanthey.Someoftheirprettycomplimentsseemedsilly.Still,shewasyounginheartandbodyandyouthappealedtoher.Oh,we’llberightback,MissMadenda,saidoneofthechaps,bowing.Youwouldn’tthinkwe’dkeepyouovertime,now,wouldyou?Well,Idon’tknow,saidCarrie,smiling.Theywereoffforadrive--she,lookingaboutandnoticingfineclothing,theyoungmenvoicingthosesillypleasantriesandweakquipswhichpassforhumourincoycircles.Carriesawthegreatparkparadeofcarriages,beginningattheFifty-ninthStreetentranceandwindingpasttheMuseumofArttotheexitatOneHundredandTenthStreetandSeventhAvenue.Hereyewasoncemoretakenbytheshowofwealth--theelaboratecostumes,elegantharnesses,spiritedhorses,and,aboveall,thebeauty.Oncemoretheplagueofpovertygalledher,butnowsheforgotinameasureherowntroublessofarastoforgetHurstwood.Hewaiteduntilfour,five,andevensix.Itwasgettingdarkwhenhegotupoutofhischair.Iguesssheisn’tcominghome,hesaid,grimly.That’stheway,hethought.She’sgettingastartnow.I’moutofit.Carriehadreallydiscoveredherneglect,butonlyataquarterafterfive,andtheopencarriagewasnowfarupSeventhAvenue,neartheHarlemRiver.Whattimeisit?sheinquired.Imustbegettingback. Aquarterafterfive,saidhercompanion,consultinganelegant,open-facedwatch.Oh,dearme!exclaimedCarrie.Thenshesettledbackwithasigh.There’snousecryingoverspiltmilk,shesaid.It’stoolate.Ofcourseitis,saidtheyouth,whosawvisionsofafinedinnernow,andsuchinvigoratingtalkaswouldresultinareunionaftertheshow.HewasgreatlytakenwithCarrie.We’lldrivedowntoDelmonico’snowandhavesomethingthere,won’twe,Orrin?Tobesure,repliedOrrin,gaily.CarriethoughtofHurstwood.Neverbeforehadsheneglecteddinnerwithoutanexcuse.Theydroveback,andat6.15satdowntodine.ItwastheSherryincidentoveragain,theremembranceofwhichcamepainfullybacktoCarrie.SherememberedMrs.Vance,whohadnevercalledagainafterHurstwood’sreception,andAmes.Atthisfigurehermindhalted.Itwasastrong,cleanvision.Helikedbetterbooksthansheread,betterpeoplethansheassociatedwith.Hisidealsburnedinherheart.It’sfinetobeagoodactress,camedistinctlyback.Whatsortofanactresswasshe?Whatareyouthinkingabout,MissMadenda?inquiredhermerrycompanion.Come,now,let’sseeifIcanguess. Oh,no,saidCarrie.Don’ttry.Sheshookitoffandate.Sheforgot,inpart,andwasmerry.Whenitcametotheafter-theatreproposition,however,sheshookherhead.No,shesaid,Ican’t.Ihaveapreviousengagement.Oh,now,MissMadenda,pleadedtheyouth.No,saidCarrie,Ican’t.You’vebeensokind,butyou’llhavetoexcuseme.Theyouthlookedexceedinglycrestfallen.Cheerup,oldman,whisperedhiscompanion.We’llgoaround,anyhow.Shemaychangehermind.
