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1、TableofContentsTitlePageDedicationAcknowledgementsUSINGTHISBOOKCHAPTER1-HOWDYCHINESEHelloWhat’sup?LongtimenoseeGoodbyeHey!MeSorryExcusemePleaseAskingforhelpNicetomeetyouTakingpicturesCHAPTER2-FRIENDLYCHINESEFriendsTitlesFamilyCharactersRegionalstereotypesTypesCHAPTER3-PARTYCHIN
2、ESELet’sgohavesomefun!KickstartingthenightGettingyourschwerveonStayinginFunnyshitCoolshitWhereChinesegotoplayBoozeandfirewaterOrderingdrinks100degreesofwreckednessPartydrugsCHAPTER4-BODYCHINESETheChinese“beauty”TheChinese“ugly”OtherbodytypesToiletChineseFartingTraditionalChines
3、emedicine(TCM)CHAPTER5-HORNYCHINESEFuckPenisPussyTitsAssSexualpositions&perversionsOrgasmSextoysGayChineseCHAPTER6-ANGRYCHINESEWhatthehellareyoudoing?Gotohell!Fuckyoumotherfucker!CHAPTER7-POPPYCHINESEMusicComedyMoviesFashionCHAPTER8-SPORTYCHINESEOthersportsandgamesCheeringandje
4、eringWorkingoutVideogamesCHAPTER9-HUNGRYCHINESEFoodHurryup!TastyInternationalcuisineFastfoodChinesefoodSnacksWeirdshitYuck!OtherUlyssesPressTitlesAbouttheAuthorsCopyrightPageForPaul,an89-year-oldChinese-AmericangentlemanImetinabaryesterdaywhohasanevenfoulermouththanIdo!Acknowle
5、dgmentsMatt:ThankstoBrendanO’Kane,whotaughtmehowtosay,“fuck[my]grandpa’spiss-stinkingasshole,”HansCui,theCanto-Canuckforhisinfinitefilthiness,HuangSuiforherlongdistancekinkiness,ShanghaiLaneforthelongLogosessions,CatherineMathesandDerekSandhausforteachingme“howtogetmyswerveon,”
6、Nick,Keith,andthegoodpeopleatUlyssesPressfortheirendlesspatience,lastbutnotleasttheGodfatheroftheChinaBlogMafia—JohnPasden—forhookingthisup,keepingitreal,andforteachingusallthedirtywordsweknowinEnglishandChinese(Wewon’ttellaboutthekittens,John!).Edmund:Formyparents,whotaughtmeb
7、etter,andmyteachers,whowillhopefullyreadthiswiththegoodhumorandtolerancethatgotthemthroughtheirclasseswithme.ThankstoSongLiforherpatience,andUlyssesPress,fortheirs.USINGTHISBOOKDirtyChineseassumesyouknowenoughChinesetogetaround,andifyoudon’t—thatis,unlessyoureallythinkit’sagood
8、ideatolearnhowtosay“fistfucking”beforeyoucanorderfood—
