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1、SOMEBODY'SLUGGAGESOMEBODY'SLUGGAGEbyCharlesDickens1SOMEBODY'SLUGGAGECHAPTERI--HISLEAVINGITTILLCALLEDFORThewriterofthesehumblelinesbeingaWaiter,andhavingcomeofafamilyofWaiters,andowningatthepresenttimefivebrotherswhoareallWaiters,andlikewiseanonlysisterwhoisaWait
2、ress,wouldwishtoofferafewwordsrespectinghiscalling;firsthavingthepleasureofherebyinafriendlymannerofferingtheDedicationofthesameuntoJOSEPH,muchrespectedHeadWaiterattheSlamjamCoffee-house,London,E.C.,thanwhichaindividualmoreeminentlydeservingofthenameofman,oramor
3、eamenablehonourtohisownheadandheart,whetherconsideredinthelightofaWaiterorregardedasahumanbeing,donotexist.Incaseconfusionshouldariseinthepublicmind(whichitisopentoconfusiononmanysubjects)respectingwhatismeantorimpliedbythetermWaiter,thepresenthumblelineswouldwi
4、shtoofferanexplanation.ItmaynotbegenerallyknownthatthepersonasgoesouttowaitisNOTaWaiter.Itmaynotbegenerallyknownthatthehandasiscalledinextra,attheFreemasons'Tavern,ortheLondon,ortheAlbion,orotherwise,isNOTaWaiter.SuchhandsmaybetookonforPublicDinnersbythebushel(a
5、ndyoumayknowthembytheirbreathingwithdifficultywheninattendance,andtakingawaythebottleereyetitishalfout);butsuchareNOTWaiters.Foryoucannotlaydownthetailoring,ortheshoemaking,orthebrokering,orthegreen-grocering,orthepictorial-periodicalling,orthesecond-handwardrob
6、e,orthesmallfancybusinesses,--youcannotlaydownthoselinesoflifeatyourwillandpleasurebythehalf-dayorevening,andtakeupWaitering.Youmaysupposeyoucan,butyoucannot;oryoumaygosofarastosayyoudo,butyoudonot.Noryetcanyoulaydownthegentleman's-servicewhenstimulatedbyprolong
7、edincompatibilityonthepartofCooks(andhereitmayberemarkedthatCookingandIncompatibilitywillbemostlyfoundunited),andtakeupWaitering.Ithasbeenascertainedthatwhatagentlemanwillsitmeekunder,athome,hewillnotbearoutofdoors,attheSlamjamorany2SOMEBODY'SLUGGAGEsimilarestab
8、lishment.Then,whatistheinferencetobedrawnrespectingtrueWaitering?Youmustbebredtoit.Youmustbeborntoit.Wouldyouknowhowborntoit,FairReader,--ifoftheadorablefemalesex?The
