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1、大学英语四级考试作文解析1997年12月全真试题Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteacompositionaboutHarmfulnessofFakeCommoditiesinthreeparagraphs.Youshouldwriteatleast100wordsandyoushouldbaseyourcompositionontheoutline(giveninChinese)below:1.目前社会上有不少假冒伪劣商品（fakecommodities).为什么会有这种现象？2。举例
2、说明伪劣商品对消费者个人、社会等的危害。布局与谋篇写作标题和提纲对短文内容定位为假冒伪劣商品目前在社会上流行的“现象”、“原因”、给消费者带来的“危害”及其“例证”，显然属论说文体。短文可按提纲自然分成两段。第一段的要点既然是“现象”和“原因”，可发展成因果段落。第二段要求提供“例证”，自然用举例法进行扩展。第一段：本段应发展成因果段落果：现象，即目前社会上有不少假冒商品因：需根据现象进行分析与联想第一段提纲：TS:Fakecommoditiesprevailbecauseofthreereason.Causes:A.economicdevelopment
3、B.Profiteersmakingandsellingfakecommodities.C.PunishmentnotsevereenoughEffect:marketswarmingwithfakes-food-stuff,clothing,medicine.初稿（1）Fakecommoditiesprevailinmanyplacesofourcountrybecauseofthreereasons.(2)Oureconomyisdevelopingveryfast.(3)Someprofiteerstrytomakeandsellfakecommod
4、ities.(4)Thepunishmentisnotsevereenough.(5)Today’smarketisfulloffakefood-stuff,clothing,medicineandsoon.点睛threereasons为主题导向，要求以列举法发展本因果段落，但其后行文条理性差，段落缺乏过渡词语，连贯性欠缺。点石成金Fakecommoditiesprevailinmanyplacesofourcountrybecauseofthreereasons.First,Oureconomyisdevelopingveryfast.Second,so
5、meprofiteerstrytomakeandsellfakecommodities.Finally,thepunishmentisnotsevereenough.Therefore,today’smarketisfulloffakefood-stuff,clothing,medicineandsoon.点睛纲举则目张，尽管仅增添了四个起关联作用的词语，段落却从“连贯性差”升至“尚连贯”。也就是说，就连贯标准而言，作文得分可提高至少一个档次。但first,second这类连接词太常见，似有平庸之感。列举法法常用套路归纳first,second,third
6、,…last,finallyfirstly,secondly,thirdly,lastlytobeginwith,nextinthefirstplace,inthesecondplaceforonething,foranother二稿（1）Withrapideconomicdevelopment,fakecommoditiesprevailinmanyplacesofourcountry.(2)Someprofiteers,regardlessofpeople’sinterests,can’twaittomakeafortune;theyjusttaker
7、isksmakingandsellingfakegoods.(3)Ontheotherhand,thepunishmentisnotsevereenoughtostoptheviolators.(4)Today’smarket,therefore,isswarmingwithfakessuchasphonyfood-stuff,clothing,andmedicine.点睛介词短语With…简练地引导出大环境。regardlessof…短语的插入；分号“；”的运用。过渡词语Ontheotherhand引出对立因素。therefore的插入句中增加了句式变化
8、。1)regardlessof…插入句（2）中间，是使句式多样化的
