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1、Stepbystep3000book2Unit1Part1原文Part1WarmingupATapescript:ThePorterFamilyMrWilliamPorterisveryold.He's87.AndMrsCatherinePorteris80.MrPorterisfromWales.JohnPorterandMaryarebrotherandsisterJohnPorteris53andhe'salawyer.HiswifeSusanis48,andshe'sanarchitect.JamesPo
2、rterandJoanLeearecousins.JamesPorteris24andJoanLeeis17.BTapescript:HereareafewgeneralideasIbelievehelpmakeamarriagework:1.Goondateswitheachother.Renewromanticfeelingsbyspendingspecialtimetogether.2.Beasspecificasyoucanwhenyoucomplain,makearequest,orofferprais
3、e.3.Whenstressedbyfatigueoryourowninsecurities,imagineyouandyourpartnerinafoxhole,surroundedbydanger.Insteadofstrikingoutatyourpartner,findawaytoprotectthepartnership!4.Whenyoufeel"distant,"talkaboutitwithyourpartner.5.Beassuredthatpartnersinallmarriagessomet
4、imesgettired,irritable,ordistracted.Worktogethertounderstandeachother.6.Respecteachother.Leaveifdangerexists.Findprofessionalhelpifphysical,sexual,emotional,orverbalabuseoccurs.7.Fightto"understand,"notto"win."CTapescript:Havingbeenmarriedformorethan40years,I
5、canattesttotruthofthefollowingstatement:Toexcelintheartofdomesticargument,onemustmastertheartoflosingModernpsychologistsaretakenwiththe"lose-lose"solution.Butinmarriage,successresidesmorein"lose-lose"solutions.Outofthese,bothpartiescanwin.Forintheloveconfigur
6、ation,losinggivesagiftthatalwaysreturns.Theissuesthatpeopleargueovermostinmarriage,suchashowtospendmoney,oftenaren'ttherealones.Thekeyissueis:whoisgoingtobeincontrol?WhenIwasyounger,myneedtocontrolaroseoutoffear,alackoftrust,insecurity.ThedayIfinallyrealizedI
7、needn'ttocontrolmywife-that,indeed,Ioughtnottocontrolher,thatIcouldn'tcontrolher,andthatifItryto,Iwoulddestroyourmarriage-wasthedayourmarriagebegan.Whatisitwewantmostfromamarriage?Toloveandbeloved.Tobehappyandsecure.TogrowtodiscoverAloverelationshipisthegarde
8、ninwhichweplant,cultivateandharvestthemostpreciousofcrops,ourownself,andinwhichourspouseisprovidedthesamerichsoilinwhichtobloom.Wecannotobtainwhatwewantunlessourpartneralsogetswhatheorshe
